Counterfeit Money: Redux

Gweg was in the front room trying to watch tv. Only, he couldn't he hear, no matter how loud he turned it up. The laughter emanating from Satyr's room kept drowning it out.

Gweg got up and went to Satyr's room and pounded on the door.

Satyr opened it up, his hands were covered in green ink.

Gweg: What are you doing?

Satyr: I'm making counterfeit money.

Gweg: Well, instead of a stupid money making scheme, you've just decided to do some stupid money making. Have fun getting raped in jail when you get caught.

Satyr: Gweg, you need to understand something here.

Gweg: What's that?

Satyr: This simple fact: Whatever I do, it's the right thing to do. Everything I do is done for a reason.

Gweg: And what reason is that?

Satyr: Do I have to have a reason for everything?

Gweg: Whatever. Just keep it down in here, I'm trying to watch some tv.

Satyr: Wait a second. I want you to look at the money.

Satyr handed Gweg one of the bills. Gweg looked at the back of it. It looked like an ordinary 20, until Gweg read was printed on it.

Gweg: "In Bob Dylan We Trust." Geez, no one will ever be able to tell this is a fake. Why did you put that on there?

Satyr: Because 'In God We Trust' caused to much controversy. Therefore, I took out god, and I picked a suitable replacement, somebody all Americans could get behind, and that man is Bob Dylan.

Gweg: Why couldn't you put something like, 'Our Leaders', or 'Our Founding Fathers', or 'A Higher Power'?

Satyr: These people that you mention, yes I know them, they are quite lame.

Gweg rolled his eyes and looked at the front of the bill. Instead of seeing Andrew Jackson, he saw a picture some guy with a bad hairdo and a beard.

Gweg: Who in the hell is this?

Satyr: That's George Lucas of course.

Gweg: You don't expect anybody to actually accept this money, do you?

Satyr: Let me tell you something about the typical human being. They don't pay attention to detail. They are always in a rush. Trust me, when they do see the changes I've made, it will be too late for them to pin it on somebody.

Gweg: All right. Let's go see. Why don't you buy our supper tonight with your money.

Satyr: Fine. You'll see. Along with supper, you'll be eating your words.

Gweg: That was lame.

Satyr: Not as lame as your face.

Gweg: Let's just go already.

Gweg and Satyr went to the local hotdog stand. There, you order at your car and the carhop brings your food to you and takes your money.

Gweg and Satyr ordered some food and the carhop chick brought back to them.

Carhop Chick: That'll be $15.45.

Satyr handed her one of his twenties.

Satyr: Keep the change doll.

The carhop chick took one look at the money and gave Satyr a nasty look.

Carhop Chick: Listen sir, I'm not an idiot. I know this isn't a real 20. Who in the hell is this fat guy on here anyway?

Satyr: That's George Lucas, creator of Star Wars.

Carhop Chick: Whatever. Give me the food back and I won't call the cops on you.

Gweg: Told you so.

Satyr: Shut it.

Satyr handed the Carhop Chick back all of the food.

Satyr: Their dogs taste like shit anyway.

Gweg: Well, it looks like all of that hard work you were doing was for nothing.

Satyr: Oh, I still have some use for this money.


That Sunday, at the local church:

Preacher: And now we shall pass the collection plate around.

After the plate made it's rounds, it was given back to the preacher. He looked at it with pure joy on his face and shouted "Hallelujah!". The plate was filled with the most money he had ever seen in it.

Preacher: I would like to thank God for sending such generous souls to this church.

The preacher picked up one of the bills.

Preacher: You see this brethren, this is a sign that God watches out for his own...

The preacher then had a stumped look on his face.

Preacher: "In Bob Dylan We Trust"? What the fuck is this shit? And who in the hell is this fat guy?