Deja Blues

Gweg was alone in the apartment watching the news. Satyr had gone out to check on something, what it was, he would not tell Gweg.

The news program had just brought a story about a missing blind girl when Satyr arrived home.

Gweg: Yay, you're back. It's a shame about this missing blind girl. I wonder how she got lost.

Satyr: They still haven't found her?

Gweg: No. They are still searching....Wait a second, what do you mean "They still haven't found her"? This was a breaking news story that was just on. This is the first time anybody is hearing about it.

Satyr: I heard it on the radio.

Gweg: The radio in the car is broken. What did you do?

Satyr sat down on the couch. He looked down at his hands and then at the ceiling. Gweg kicked him in the leg.

Gweg: Tell me what you did!

Satyr: That hurt! Fine, I'll tell you what happened. Last night, I was, uh, "attending" to myself, and I felt these bumps.

Gweg: How did I know that this would involve your dick?

Satyr: Don't interrupt me. So, I'm feeling these bumps and I'm getting curious about them. So today, I went out and I found this blind girl. I had her "attend" to me and she, you know, "read" the bumps.

Gweg: She "read" the bumps! What the hell does that mean?

Satyr: You know, like Braille. Anyway, she "read", let out a scream, and went off running. I'm surprised she managed to get anywhere, since she's blind and all.

Gweg: You sicken me. Here's what we are going to do. We are going to get in the car, and we are going to search for her.

Satyr: The Twilight Zone Marathon!

Gweg: You've seen them all already! Every time we go to Walden's, you go to the culinary section and scream, "It's a cookbook!"

Satyr laughed.

Gweg: Stop it. We are going to find that poor blind girl, so come on.

Satyr and Gweg got into the car. Satyr got into the driver's side.

Gweg: All right, what direction did she run off to?

Satyr: She ran off to the woods.

Gweg: Let's go to the woods then and search for her there.

They arrived at the woods. The woods in the area were big. They covered roughly 3 square miles. The road went through the middle of them.

Gweg: We'll drive through the woods first, then we'll walk around.

Satyr: Sure thing, el Capitan!

They past a small dirt road that led off into the woods.

Satyr: Well, this sure does bring back some memories.

Gweg: Don't even start with that.

Satyr: What's the matter Gweg? Too painful for you?

Gweg: Let's just worry about the girl.

Satyr: Ok, but it's hard not to think about what that part of the woods means to us.

Gweg couldn't help but think about it. That dirt road was a path to the past. When Gweg first met Satyr.

Gweg tried to keep his attention on looking for the girl, but his mind was drawn to the past. And how he managed to be stuck in situations like this to begin with.


FLASHBACK

Gweg had just gotten off of the phone with Mr. Chambers, the man who had interviewed for a job just the other day. Mr. Chambers called with great news, Gweg had got the job and he started that very day.

Gweg had dressed up in his best outfit, ready for work. His mom looked on with pride in her eyes.

Gweg's Mom: I'm so proud of you Gweg! And I know your father would be proud of you too.

Gweg: Dad's passed out again, isn't he.

Mom: Now, we can't blame your father for the things he does. It's so hard for him to provide for us.

Gweg: He's on disability mom.

Mom: Yes, Gweg. That's the sacrifice he had to make to provide for us.

Gweg: He was a telemarketer. And he only got disability because he answered the phone too fast and hit himself in the head.

Mom: Your father has his faults, but he is a good man.

Gweg knew better than to keep the conversation going. He just nodded and adjusted his tie.

Mom: I want you to take my car to your job today.

Gweg: Are you sure mom?

Mom: Yes Gweg, I know you'll be careful in it.

Gweg: Yes I will mom.

Gweg was all set to go and climbed into his mother's car. Gweg has had a license for two years, but has only driven a car five times.

Gweg's job was located in the city. The city was 3 miles away from the suburbs where Gweg lived.

Gweg had pulled out onto the highway that led to the city. He made sure to drive carefully.

Ahead of him, was the greatest looking car he had ever seen. He was so busy admiring it, that when the driver of the car slammed on his breaks, Gweg couldn't react in time.

Gweg crashed right into the car.

The airbags deployed and Gweg was thrown into one. Gweg stumbled out of the car. The driver of the other car was already out.

The Driver: You got insurance boy?

Gweg: It's my mom's car.

The Driver: Are you insured to drive it?

Gweg: I don't know.

The Driver: Well now, that just might be a problem.

Gweg: I'll pay for the damage. I'm starting a new job today.

The Driver: Oh yeah, you sure are. Your new job is being my bitch!

The Driver ran towards Gweg and knocked him down. Gweg tried to get back up, but the driver, swung at him and knocked him out.


Gweg didn't know how long he had been out, but when he woke up, he was in the trunk of a car.
Gweg knew this from the bumps and screeching of the tires.

The car had stopped. Gweg heard a door open and shut. Gweg the heard two voices talking. One he didn't recognize, the other he knew belonged to the driver of the car he had hit.

Other Man: Hey dude, where's your new wheels?

The Driver: Some punk kid rear ended me.

Other Man: That sucks dude. What did you do to him?

The Driver: Nothing yet, but he's going to be paying for the damages for a while.

Other Man: Heh heh. I bet. Fill 'er up?

The Driver: Yes. I'm going to be camping in the woods tonight with a friend.

Other Man: Sounds like fun.

The Driver: Oh, it will be. It will be.

The other man had filled up the tank and the driver had took off again.

Some time later, the car had stopped again. The driver got out and opened the trunk.

The driver pulled Gweg out and threw him to the ground.

The Driver: Here we are! My favorite place in this crappy county! The woods. This is where I have all of my fun.

Gweg: I'm sorry for hitting you! It was an accident!

The Driver: That may be. But you still need to be taught a lesson.

The Driver reached into the back seat of his car. He pulled out a rifle.

The Driver: You see, you didn't just ram your car into the vehicle of any old man. You rammed into the rear end of Richard the Hunter!

Gweg didn't know why, but he cringed at the name. Richard the Hunter saw it and smiled.

Richard the Hunter: I'm a sporting man. I'm going to give you a five minute head start.

Gweg: What do you mean?

Richard the Hunter: I hunt. But I don't just hunt any old game. I hunt the greatest game of them all: man. And today, I'm going to be hunting you.

Gweg: Please don't do this!

Richard the Hunter: You now have four minutes.

Gweg took off. He ran at fast as he could. He could hear Richard laughing. But then, he heard another noise. It sounded like a motor.

It grew louder. Gweg couldn't help but turn around to look.

Gweg saw a car speeding down the dirt road of which Richard's car was parked. The car didn't bother to slow down. Not until it ran right over Richard the Hunter.

What Gweg saw next amazed him. Out of the car, stepped out some sort of mythological creature. Gweg recognized it as a satyr. It was wearing a trenchcoat and talking on a cellular phone.

The satyr took a look at the body of Richard the Hunter.

The Satyr: Hey Cyber, I'm going to have to call you back. I, uh, just hit a deer.

The satyr put away the phone and looked around. He saw Gweg and started to get worried.

The Satyr: Hey man, the guy jumped right out in front of me.

Gweg: It's all right. The guy was going to kill me.

The Satyr: He was?

Gweg: Yeah.

Gweg told the satyr the story. The satyr took it all in.

The Satyr: Well, only one thing to do now. We got to bury him.

Gweg: With what?

The Satyr: I've got a couple of shovels in my car.

Gweg: Do you always carry shovels in the car with you?

The Satyr: Yes I do.

Gweg: All right. Since we are going to be burying a body together, we should introduce ourselves. My name is Gweg.

The Satyr: Gweg? As in G-W-E-G?

Gweg: Yes. What of it?

The Satyr: Nothing. You can just call me Satyr.

Gweg: Just Satyr? Don't you have a real name.

Satyr: Yes.

Gweg could tell by the look in Satyr's eyes, that it was something he was not going to reveal.

They started digging a hole to put the body in. Gweg couldn't help but notice a resemblance between Satyr and Richard.

Satyr: He sure was one ugly mother fucker.

They buried the body.

Satyr: Hey man. Since I just saved your life and all, do you think I could ask a favor of you?

Gweg: Ok.

Satyr: I need a roommate. How do you feel about coming to live in my apartment.

Gweg: Well, I am looking to get out of my parents house. I guess I could.

Satyr: All right? Gweg, this looks to be the start of a beautiful friendship.

End Flashback.

Gweg shook his head and got the images of that day out of it. He looked over at Satyr.

Gweg: What were you doing in the woods that day anyway?

Satyr: Uh. Bird watching.

Gweg: Wait a second! Richard said he was going to be camping with a friend that night. You had two shovels in your car for no apparent reason at all. You were his friend! You were going to hunt me along with him ! That's why he never ran away when you were coming! He was expecting you!

Satyr: It took you this long to figure all of that out.

Gweg: I should kill you right now.

Satyr: Still doesn't change the fact that I saved your life.

Gweg: Oh my god! That's why you needed a new roommate!

Satyr: Oh get over it Gweg. That was a long time ago. I've moved on. It's behind us now.

Gweg: I just can't believe all of this.

Satyr: I can't believe I'm still driving. Here, you take over. We'll go back down the road again, this time you drive and I'll look for the blind girl.

Gweg: Fine.

Gweg took over driving, but he still could not get the thought of what really was going on that day out of his head.

He wasn't really paying attention to the road at all. Not until he hit something.

Gweg slammed on the breaks and looked over at Satyr.

Gweg: What did I hit?

Satyr: Uh, a deer.

Gweg: You are lying, aren't you?

Satyr: It's a good thing I brought the shovels.

The End.

Counterfeit Money: Redux

Gweg was in the front room trying to watch tv. Only, he couldn't he hear, no matter how loud he turned it up. The laughter emanating from Satyr's room kept drowning it out.

Gweg got up and went to Satyr's room and pounded on the door.

Satyr opened it up, his hands were covered in green ink.

Gweg: What are you doing?

Satyr: I'm making counterfeit money.

Gweg: Well, instead of a stupid money making scheme, you've just decided to do some stupid money making. Have fun getting raped in jail when you get caught.

Satyr: Gweg, you need to understand something here.

Gweg: What's that?

Satyr: This simple fact: Whatever I do, it's the right thing to do. Everything I do is done for a reason.

Gweg: And what reason is that?

Satyr: Do I have to have a reason for everything?

Gweg: Whatever. Just keep it down in here, I'm trying to watch some tv.

Satyr: Wait a second. I want you to look at the money.

Satyr handed Gweg one of the bills. Gweg looked at the back of it. It looked like an ordinary 20, until Gweg read was printed on it.

Gweg: "In Bob Dylan We Trust." Geez, no one will ever be able to tell this is a fake. Why did you put that on there?

Satyr: Because 'In God We Trust' caused to much controversy. Therefore, I took out god, and I picked a suitable replacement, somebody all Americans could get behind, and that man is Bob Dylan.

Gweg: Why couldn't you put something like, 'Our Leaders', or 'Our Founding Fathers', or 'A Higher Power'?

Satyr: These people that you mention, yes I know them, they are quite lame.

Gweg rolled his eyes and looked at the front of the bill. Instead of seeing Andrew Jackson, he saw a picture some guy with a bad hairdo and a beard.

Gweg: Who in the hell is this?

Satyr: That's George Lucas of course.

Gweg: You don't expect anybody to actually accept this money, do you?

Satyr: Let me tell you something about the typical human being. They don't pay attention to detail. They are always in a rush. Trust me, when they do see the changes I've made, it will be too late for them to pin it on somebody.

Gweg: All right. Let's go see. Why don't you buy our supper tonight with your money.

Satyr: Fine. You'll see. Along with supper, you'll be eating your words.

Gweg: That was lame.

Satyr: Not as lame as your face.

Gweg: Let's just go already.

Gweg and Satyr went to the local hotdog stand. There, you order at your car and the carhop brings your food to you and takes your money.

Gweg and Satyr ordered some food and the carhop chick brought back to them.

Carhop Chick: That'll be $15.45.

Satyr handed her one of his twenties.

Satyr: Keep the change doll.

The carhop chick took one look at the money and gave Satyr a nasty look.

Carhop Chick: Listen sir, I'm not an idiot. I know this isn't a real 20. Who in the hell is this fat guy on here anyway?

Satyr: That's George Lucas, creator of Star Wars.

Carhop Chick: Whatever. Give me the food back and I won't call the cops on you.

Gweg: Told you so.

Satyr: Shut it.

Satyr handed the Carhop Chick back all of the food.

Satyr: Their dogs taste like shit anyway.

Gweg: Well, it looks like all of that hard work you were doing was for nothing.

Satyr: Oh, I still have some use for this money.


That Sunday, at the local church:

Preacher: And now we shall pass the collection plate around.

After the plate made it's rounds, it was given back to the preacher. He looked at it with pure joy on his face and shouted "Hallelujah!". The plate was filled with the most money he had ever seen in it.

Preacher: I would like to thank God for sending such generous souls to this church.

The preacher picked up one of the bills.

Preacher: You see this brethren, this is a sign that God watches out for his own...

The preacher then had a stumped look on his face.

Preacher: "In Bob Dylan We Trust"? What the fuck is this shit? And who in the hell is this fat guy?

The Dark Lord Zexotellian

The apartment was quiet. A little too quiet. Gweg had decided to take a morning jog. When he left, Satyr was still in bed, with his alarm clock going off. Gweg expected to come home to find Satyr up to something, but the apartment seemed empty.

Gweg then realized it was Thursday. For the past few months, Satyr disappeared for several hours every Thursday. Satyr never said what he was up to and Gweg never bothered to ask.

He decided to make most of the alone time he had today. Maybe he could get some cleaning done. Or organize some shelves. Or catch up on some reading.

Gweg: You know what? Fuck it all, I'm just going to be lazy today. I'm going to mess around on the computer.

And he did. And why not? Satyr hogged it most of the time.

Gweg spent the next couple of hours playing games and checking out websites that pertained to his interests.

Gweg was starting to get bored and decided to check out a chat room. Unfortunately, Gweg was a little naive to the whole chat room experience, and he accidently entered a gothic chat room.

*gweg has entered the room*
lestatlover666: hello gweg
gweg: Hi.
lestatlover666: how r u.
gweg: I'm fine. How are you?
lestatlover666: depressed miserable suicidal...the usual
xxxdemondogxxx: i have a new knife. it cuts my skin really good. i shall bleed a lot.
lestatlover666: how often do u cut yourself gweg?
gweg: Never.
lestatlover666: lol. then what do u do to deal with the pain?
gweg: I just deal with it.
reapersimage: the pain draws our spirits together. we are one in the darkness. we are one in his eyes!
xxxdemondogxxx: i can feel the pain. the pain has kept me alive. cutting brings the pain.
gweg: I think I'm in the wrong chatroom.
lestatlover666: no you are not. i can feel your pain gweg. what is it?
gweg: Well, my roommate is a major pain in the ass.
reapersimage: you wish to rid yourself of this pain?
gweg: I would like to.
lestatlover666: we can help you.
reapersimage: HE can help you!
gweg: Who?
reapersimage: The Dark Lord Zexotellian!
lestatlover666: ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD!
xxxdemondogxxx: all hail the dark lord. dark lord zexotellian he is our dark lord
reapersimage: just give us the word, and we will call him to you.
gweg: Yeah. You have my word.
*gweg has left the room*


Gweg quickly logged out of the room and left the computer. He couldn't believe some of the psychos on the internet.

Gweg went out into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. As he was getting into the fridge, he heard a loud boom coming from the front room.

Gweg ran into the room to see what it was. There was a bunch of black smoke. After it dwindled out, Gweg saw a 6 and a half foot tall handsome man, with jet black hair. He was wearing a three piece suit that was as black as his hair.

The Man: Hello. I am Zexotellian. I am the dark lord of the 7th Netherworld. There are 218 in all. I'm going to go ahead and assume you are Gweg.

Gweg: Yes I am. But, I didn't really want you here. The people in the chat room said they were going to get you, but I though they were stoned or something.

Zexotellian: Those dickweed little goths! The fucking did it to me again. My agent told me, "Zexo, if you ever want to rule the 1st Netherworld, you need to advertise more. " So he suggested making myself a website. And the only people who visit are these pathetic goths.

Gweg: Uh, I'm sorry. Well, I really don't need you.

Zexotellian: Whoa! You just wait one little second there. I'm not some sort of second rate clown act that you can just call up every time you want to impress your friends.

Gweg: But I didn't.

Zexotellian: I don't care wether or not you did. The fact is, you told those little ass munching goths you needed something taken care of. And they called me up to do it for you.

Gweg: It was all a misunderstanding.

Zexotellian: Hey! I'm Zexotellian. Ruler of the 7th Netherworld, ok? Now, that's not something you are born into or handed to on a silver platter, ok? I had to work my ass off. I took over the 115th Netherworld when I was 2025 years old. And I have since worked my way up to the 7th. Now most Dark Lords, once the rule a Netherworld, they are content on staying there. Not me. When people hear the name "Zexotellian", they are going to think of "success"!

Gweg: When I saw your name, I thought that kid was smoking some serious fucking crack.

Zexotellian: Listen here mortal! I'm tired of people thinking they can have their way with me! I'm not your momma. I'm not going to bend over and grab my ankles just because you called me up wanting a good time! You look at the history of this world! Most of the major events in this world happened because of the Dark Lords. And I was responsible for a few of those myself. But only one of the Dark Lords managed to make himself famous. Only because he carved his name into a tree. That moss licking son-of-a-bitch Croatoan!

Gweg: Listen. I'm sorry, but I don't need your help. I only told those goths that I had a problem with my roommate.

Zexotellian: So, you want your roommate dead, huh?

Gweg: Well yeah, but I don't need you to kill him.

Zexotellian: Oh, I'm sorry Gweg. You see, I have to do it. I won't leave until the job I am called upon to do is done. But I'll tell you now, there is a small price to pay for my services.

Gweg: And what price is that?

Zexotellian: Well, usually depends on what kind of job it is. For offing a person, the price is a small sacrifice.

Gweg: What sacrifice.

Zexotellian: Mainly, killing everybody in your whole town.

Gweg: Hey now! I didn't want you here! This is bullshit! You're not welcome, so go back to your little Netherworld and leave me alone.

Zexotellian: Do I have to remind you that I am a Dark Lord. That I am the ruler of the 7th Netherworld. That's the 7th, mind you. I will rule the first and send that two-bit log smoking Croatoan out on his tree hugging ass!

Gweg: Yeah. that's good and all. But, it still doesn't change the fact that you are not wanted here.

Zexotellian: Well, you sound like a whinny little good for nothing loser. No wonder you were in that chat room. Now, where is your roommate at?

Gweg: I don't know where he is. He always disappears on Thursdays.

Zexotellian: Oh, he disappeared? Is he a magician?

Gweg: No, he's a satyr.

Zexotellian: Oh goodie. I get to deal with a loud mouth satyr. Oh well. I'm going to go get a bite to eat at McDonald's. If this Satyr is not here when I get back, I'll just have to hunt him down.

Zexotellian left the apartment. Gweg sat down on the couch. He had never been this worried before in his life. He had no idea how he was going to stop Zexotellian from killing Satyr and then everyone else in town.

Five minutes later. Satyr came home.

Satyr: I'll tell you what Gweg, I'm glad the finally got both lanes open on Main Street now. I was passing those slow ass fuckers like there was no tomorrow. Anyway, I got pulled over. Can I borrow 120 dollars?

Gweg: We are in some deep shit.

Satyr: No were not. It's only my third ticket this year.

Gweg: Not that.

Gweg told him what happened.

Satyr: So, you called up a dark lord to kill me huh? And after all that I have done for you!

Gweg: I didn't call him up! The freaking goths did!

Satyr: All right. It's ok. I've had a dealing with a Dark Lord myself once. A little over 400 years ago, when I was banished here to Earth, I lived in this little colony. Anyway, the father of some chick I was doing wanted to kill me, so I asked the local Indians for a favor. They called upon the god they worshipped and it turned out to be a Dark Lord. Anyway, he killed the father and then the whole town.

Gweg: That's what he said. After he kills you, he will kill everyone else in town.

Satyr: Bad deal huh? Well, there's got to be something about it on the net. You said he had a website?

Gweg: Yeah.

Satyr: All right. Let's get to work.

Satyr got on the computer and typed in www.zexotellian.com. The website he got featured a lot of propaganda about Zexotellian, but nothing that would help them.

Satyr: Don't fret Gweg. You can find everything on the net. How long do you think he'll be out?

Gweg: I don't know. He only left because you weren't here. Which reminds me, where were you?

Satyr: The same place I've been going to every Thursday for the past five months.

Gweg: Where's that?

Satyr: The Children's Hospital.

Gweg was shocked to hear this.

Gweg: What are you doing there?

Satyr: There's this little boy named Michael there. He's dying of cancer. So every Thursday, I go over there and play games with him. He's a fun kid.

Gweg couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was a side of Satyr that he had never seen. He wondered why Satyr had kept this from him.

Gweg: I have to admit, I never expected that from you. That you would be kind enough to give this kid some happiness before he dies is remarkable. I take back every bad thing I ever said about you.

Satyr: I wouldn't be doing it if his mother wasn't so goddamn hot. As soon as the kid croaks, she's going to want a shoulder to cry on. And then she's going need some therapy. Some "8 inches of making her want to scream" therapy.

Gweg: I'm starting to think sacrificing the whole town would be worth it.

Satyr: Ah! Here we go. Good ol' Wikipedia. According to this, a Dark Lord will not return to his Netherworld until the task he has been called upon is finished. When he is called upon to kill somebody, he is required by Netherworld law to kill the remaining people in the town after he has killed the target. It is unknown why this is. However, if the Dark Lord kills somebody before the target, he will have to immediately return to his Netherworld where he will be reprimanded.

Gweg: So, we have to get him to kill somebody else before he kills you?

Satyr: Looks that way.

Gweg: God, this is horrible.

Satyr: Don't worry. I know what to do. Tell Zexotellian when he comes back that I will coming home shortly.

Gweg: What are you going to do?

Satyr: Just stay here. I'll be back in a little bit and this whole sordid mess will be behind us.


Satyr left. About 15 minutes after he was gone. Zexotellian came back.

Zexotellian. Well. I see your satyr friend hasn't come back yet.

Gweg: He called a little bit ago. He's on his way.

Zexotellian: Good. Let me tell you something, the people that are working at your McDonald's are a bunch of ignorant little puss bags. I get up to the counter and I order a Big Mac. Now, I hate that middle bun they have in there. So I tell this greasy fat little thing that's taking my order to make sure they don't put in the middle bun. And what do they do? They put in the middle bun. So, I take my sandwich back up there and I show it to the girl. I asked her, "What is this?" and she looks at me as though I asked her what the square root of 56,000 was. I tell her, "I want a Big Mac without the middle bun." And this little pimply pig of a bitch tells me, If I don't like it, I can just take it off myself. So I demand to see her manager. Her manager comes strolling up, this dipshit little homo, and I tell him, "Listen here. I'm the Dark Lord Zexotellian. I am the ruler of the 7th Netherworld, and I demand a refund!" And then he has the audacity to....

Gweg decided to stop listening there. He figured Zexotellian would go on and on until Satyr got back. He hoped to hell that Satyr knew what he was doing.


Meanwhile.

Satyr arrived at the Children's Hospital.

Michael: Hiya Mr. Satyr! What are you doing back here?

Satyr: Well, I talked to your mommy and your doctor, and they agreed to let you spend a few hours with me outside the hospital!

Michael: Oh boy! I can't wait! It's been so long since I've been outside. You are my hero Mr. Satyr!

Satyr: No, you're my hero Michael. I wish I had had the strength you have.

Michael: Do you really mean that Mr. Satyr?

Satyr: Yes I do Michael. Do you want to play a fun game?

Michael: You bet! What kind of game?

Satyr: We are going to play a fun trick on somebody.

Michael: What are we going to do?

Satyr: You get to dress up like a satyr and pretend to be me!

Michael: That sounds like fun Mr. Satyr!

Satyr: You know it! Come on.

And later, back at the apartment.

Zexotellian: So, the little faggot has called the cops on me. I let go of the bitch and I tell her she should have enjoyed that because that's the only time a man is ever going to get that close to her. So the cops show up and they start asking questions, so I put them in a trance....

Gweg droned him out again. He though he heard somebody talking outside the door.

Outside the door.

Satyr: Ok Michael. Now run in there and say, "Hey Gweg, I'm home!"

Michael: This doesn't sound like a very fun trick Mr. Satyr.

Satyr: Trust me. Have I ever let you down before?

Michael: No.


Michael ran into the room screaming what Satyr told him to say.

Zexotellian: Ah-ha! Time to die, Satyr!

Gweg: No wait! That's not...

But it was too late. Zexotellian shot some sort of energy wave out at Michael. It struck him and wrapped itself around him, squeezing him until all the life was sucked out of him.

Zexotellian: Oh shit. Something's wrong.

Zexotellian started shaking and black smoked appeared underneath him.

Satyr entered the room.

Satyr: So long, sucker!

Zexotellian: No! You can't do this to me! I'm Zexotell....

The black smoke completely surrounded him, a moment later, the smoke and Zexotellian were gone.

Gweg: Don't tell me that was the cancer kid.

Satyr: It was.

Gweg: How could you do that to him?

Satyr: What? He was going to die anyway. And now it wasn't in vain. God, you are such a pessimistic. No wonder you were visiting gothic chat rooms.

The End.