15 people. He walked over to Radioactive Dude, who was standing next to the indoor fountain.
Primus: There's 15 people in the FC.
Radioactive Dude: I've always wondered; how many people you reckon have gotten their wishes after tossing some coins into this here fountain?
Primus: Probably not too many. I don't believe in wishes.
Radioactive Dude: Ayuh. But I do believe in coincidences. But, I have to wonder if this is a coincidence.
Primus: What's that?
Radioactive Dude: You showing up at our door the day before we were gonna take this here Mall hostage to call you Power Packers out for a final battle.
Primus: Final battle?
Radioactive Dude: That's right. We have been doing some heavy talking the past couple of weeks. We are ready to do serious business, and we wanted you chaps out of our way.
Primus: So, that's what we're doing here?
Radioactive Dude: Ayuh. We are going to hold these people hostage and drag your former buddies here. This is your chance to prove yourself. You help us get rid of them, you are a part of our team.
Primus: That's fine.
Evil Gnome joined them.
Evil Gnome: It's almost a shame that most of the stores in this mall have closed down. I used to have fun here as kid. There's 23 people in the Gap.
Radioactive Dude: 38 people. That'll be enough. Time to call in Llama
He took a walkie-talkie off his belt.
Radioactive Dude: Llama, this is Dude. We are a go. Bring em in. Dude Out.
Dealy Llama brought in four boxes in a shopping cart. He took the boxes out and honked his nose. The shopping cart transformed into the Mrs.
Dealy Llama: The Mrs. and I are ready. How many we got?
Radioactive Dude: 38. 15 in the food court. 23 at the Gap.
Dealy Llama opened one of the boxes and and took out two AK-47s. He handed one to the Mrs.
Dealy Llama: I got the food court you get the bastards at the gap. They'll all be white, so let's make you a black guy.
Llama honked his nose and transformed the Mrs. into a 6 foot tall muscular black guy.
Dealy Llama: Let's round them up!
They ran off into the mall.
Evil Gnome opened the other boxes.
Two of the boxes contained six lawn gnomes each. He got them out and set them down. He opened up his flask and took his finally sip of alcohol. He was ready to control the gnomes.
He commanded them to get into the other boxes and strap the explosives inside to them.
He turned to Radioactive Dude and Primus.
Evil Gnome: We're ready.
Behind them, they heard screams.
Radioactive Dude: Now, the two of them will wrangle everybody in. Primus, go ahead and call the news channels. I want to make sure the Pack knows we're here.
Primus ran over to the payphone and called the local TV news station.
After he hung up, he looked back at his new friends. They were gathering the hostages in a circle. Gnome was having his gnomes surround them. He couldn't believe he was in this situation. He would rather be a hero, but he wanted to be somewhere he could be respected. Looking at the group, he hoped he made the right choice.
He walked over to them.
Primus: The news crews are on their way.
Radioactive Dude: Thankya Primus. Now, y'all know the drill. As soon as the police get here, I will do the talking to hold them off. When the news people get here, Gnome will send out a hostage with a couple of the gnomes following, then we'll show the Pack we mean business.
Within a few minutes, the cops arrived. Radioactive Dude spoke with the Police Negotiator. They agreed to allow FF to send a message to the Pack in exchange for a hostage.
Radioactive Dude picked out two hostages. One male, the other female.
Radioactive Dude: Miss, you are free to leave. Now you, partier, are going to help us out. Two of these here explosive gnomes will escort you outside. As soon as you get out there, holler over to the cops that you will be delivering a message. Here it is.
Radioactive Dude handed the man a piece of paper. The man read over it. He looked scared.
Radioactive Dude: I know what the message says, but trust us, you will not be hurt.
The man read over the paper again. He went outside. Evil Gnome sent his gnomes with him.
Radioactive Dude: Well, now it's your turn Llama. What do you have in store for that gentleman.
Before Llama could respond, they heard an explosion. The looked outside. The hostage was gone, and in his place, was nothing but shattered glass, some fire, and a lot of smoke.
Dealy Llama: What the fuck did you do Gnome? You weren't supposed to kill him! I was going to have the Mrs. go out there as a dog and piss on his leg!
Evil Gnome: It wasn't me! I didn't tell the gnomes to detonate the bombs!
Across the street from the mall, was a Holiday Inn. On the roof of the Inn, stood a man with a sniper rifle.
The Jaded Poet smiled as he sat the rifle down. He called Lichton.
Jaded Poet: I have disposed an innocent captive and have incriminated the rogues for the malfeasance.
Lichton responded and Poet ended the call. The plan was to make sure Pillz and Pero held nothing back in their next attack on this group of villains.
Poet picked up his binoculars and waited for the Pack to arrive.
Pillz was on speaker phone with the mayor.
Pillz: I understand the police want to take them down now. Listen, they want us. Let us lure them out of the mall and the police can go in and rescue the hostages while the Five are distracted.
Mayor: Fine. I'll tell the Chief of your plan.
Pillz looked over at Pero.
Pillz: You ready for this? This will probably not end well. They took a life. There's no holding back this time.
Pero: Their day of reckoning is at hand. I got that from a book I read. I think it was by Dr. Suess.
Pillz: Primus will be with them. We have to label him guilty as well. Even though he probably didn't have any real say or part in it, but he made his choice and he has to live with it.
Pero: I don't need to convince myself that we have to take him down.
Pillz didn't respond, but he knew Pero was right. That's exactly what Pillz was doing. Whether he liked it or not, Pillz had come to see Primus as a little brother, and his betrayal had hurt like no other. Despite all of that though, Pillz felt a little guilty for Primus' actions, but he had to be dealt with. They had to be dealt with.
Pillz: Call back to the other car. Let them know we are a couple of blocks away from the mall.
In the other car, the three occupants were arguing.
Burnsy: Don't worry about how I drive! I drive just fine.
JeNewBee: Women are not to be the best drivers! I have seen many wrecks. Women do the most of them!
Raptor Pat: Will you two pipe down, I'm trying to concentrate.
Burnsy: Who are you texting, anyways?
Raptor Pat: Don't worry about it.
JeNewBee: Texting is too softcore. I like to penetrate with my words. Rape your mind with my voice!
Burnsy: And you do that quite well. My phone is vibrating.
She got out her phone and handed it to Pat.
Burnsy: Who is it?
Raptor Pat: It's Pero.
Pat answered it. Pero told them they were almost at the mall.
Raptor Pat: We are almost there. They said to hang back and wait for Pillz' signal to move in.
Burnsy: What's the signal going to be?
Raptor Pat: I don't know.
Burnsy: That's just great.
JeNewBee: Justin will know when the time is the right one. Justin always knows. He can talk to me. He tells me his secrets!
Burnsy and Pat ignored him.
Raptor Pat: Maybe he'll hold his hand in the air and wave for us to attack.
Burnsy: Why don't you just call them back and ask?
Raptor Pat: Good idea.
Pat called back. They talked for a few minutes and Pat hung up.
Burnsy: Well?
Raptor Pat: He's going to put his hand in the air and wave for us to attack. Oh, and Jewb, he wants you to use your power on Primus.
JeNewBee: That's a great idea. If I knew who that was!
Raptor Pat: Pillz said he will be confronting Primus, so just use your powers on whoever that's going to be.
JeNewBee: That's fine! Whatever you guys do, do not count to 100 by fives. It will be your downfall! The Law will protect me, but not you.
Burnsy: Quiet down. We're at the mall.
They found a spot to park the car. They got out and saw Pillz and Pero walking up the entrance of the mall, which had been blown out in the explosion.
Pillz looked at the devastation. It only made him angrier.
Pillz: Fucktastic Five! We are here, come out!Radioactive Dude looked at the approaching figure and smiled when he heard him shout.
Radioactive Dude: I can tell that man has come here for a real showdown. Let's give it to him. Let's head out. Leave the guns behind, this is going to be a fair fight.
The Fucktastic Five exited the mall and faced Pillz and Pero out in the parking lot.
Radioactive Dude: I know what you boys are thinking. You are thinking we killed that poor man. Well, think what you like, truth is, we had nothing to do with it.
Pillz: Your hostage. Your gnomes strapped with explosives. Your responsibility.
Radioactive Dude: Well, be that as it may, you are obviously here with an intent to put a stop to us once and for all. We share the same goals for you two. Any last words?
Pillz held his hand up and waved.
Pillz: Power Pack! Assemble!
Pillz' words caught the Five off guard. They didn't see a blur heading in their direction. As they felt a gust of wind blow by them, Evil Gnome looked down at his gnomes.
Evil Gnome: My gnomes! Their explosives are gone!
They heard shouting.
Raptor Pat: Over here! I've got your bombs. Nynah nynah nynah nynah!
Evil Gnome: Nobody messes with my gnomes and gets away with it.
Gnome gathered his minuscule troops and headed for Pat.
Radioactive Dude: Well Pillz, I see you rounded up a posse.
Pillz: Indeed I have.
Burnsy and JeNewBee gathered with him and Pero.
Dealy Llama looked at JeNewBee and whispered to his Mrs.
Dealy Llama: What the fuck is he doing with them. If he's a hero, then I must be a goddamn savior. Oh well, five of us, five of them. The Law is never wrong. We won't fight one of our own, let's take on that chick.
Pillz: Now Dude, I know it's custom for the leaders to spar, but there's some one else I intend to deal with personally.
Radioactive Dude: He's all yours. Primus, take out Mr. Pillz here. I'll handle the big fellow.
Raptor Pat saw the man in dreadlocks head right for him. The man was being followed by a bunch of lawn gnomes. Pat always found those things to be a little creepy. He thought back to a couple of years ago, when a woman asked his to find a thief that stole her gnomes right off her lawn.
He ended up finding the guy and her gnomes, but couldn't get himself to gather them up and return them to her. There was just something about them that made Pat hesitant to touch them.
Gnome approached the speedster, but for some odd reason, the speedster didn't move. In fact, he seemed to be in a daze.
He commanded his gnomes to latch on to the guys legs to pin him down.
Pat decided it was best not to think about the things touching him, only to realize that's exactly what was happening. The gnomes were climbing up his legs and latching on somehow. Each of them felt like they weighed 15 pounds each, and now there were 6 of them latched on.
He tried to kick them off, but he could barely move his legs. He lost his balance and fell over.
Dealy Llama dodged the fireball.
Dealy Llama: I love it when a bitch gets all hot for me! Come on baby, give me all you got!
Burnsy wanted to fry this bastard. The prick somehow was more obnoxious than JeNewBee. She formed another fireball and launched it at Llama.
Llama raised his shield and blocked the fireball with it. He sat the shield down.
Dealy Llama: I'm going to remember you for later. The Mrs. here can become anything I want her too. And I know she's going to have a blast looking like you tonight.
Burnsy: You're disgusting.
Dealy Llama: I'm just an honest man. Now tell me something hot lips, what's a fine thing like yourself doing with these dumb fucks?
Burnsy: I have my reasons. So, is boring me with conversation part of your tactical plan, 'cause it's not going to work.
Dealy Llama: I have better tricks up my sleeve. Let's see how well you do against two targets.
He honked his nose.
The Mrs. became an eagle. She took to the sky and made a dive for Burnsy. Llama began to run after her.
PeroHulk ran towards Radioactive Dude.
The Dude sidestepped him and tossed his rope over PeroHulk's head.
Radioactive Dude: Just like a bullfight!
PeroHulk: My mom says I'm bullheaded, but I am not a bull.
Radioactive Dude: Well I will be horsewhipped. None of that "PeroHulk smash" talk.
PeroHulk: Too bad we have to put up with that silly cowboy talk.
Radioactive Dude: Touché , yellow man.
PeroHulk grabbed the rope and pulled the Dude towards him. As the Dude was being dragged towards the behemoth, he unfastened the custom made cattle prod from off his belt.
PeroHulk pulled the cowboy to him, as he picked him up to toss him away, he felt the high voltage of the cattle prod course through his body. Then there was darkness.
Pillz and Primus stared each other down. Both of them knew what they wanted to say to each other but waited for the other one to speak first.
Pillz finally broke the silence.
Pillz: Why?
Primus: You know why. You kept berating me and treating me like a subordinate. We founded that team together.
Pillz: If I was hard on you, it was for your own good.
Primus: I think it was for your own good.
Pillz: I did what needed to be done for the team. You were the one too concerend with yourself. Now look, you joined a team of killers.
Primus: We didn't kill him.
Pillz didn't respond. He clenched his ringed hand. He had to wait until the right moment.
Primus cocked his head to the left, as though he were listening to something.
Primus: What the hell does that mean?
Pillz: What?
Primus: Somebody said "My bologna has a first name. It's O. M. G. U. S. U. C. K."
Pillz knew that was the sign. He activated his ring. Primus saw this.
Primus: My powers can block yours. I can block anything.
Primus clenched his teeth and tried to make something happen. Nothing did. He saw that Pillz was making a prison around him with the energy coming from the ring.
Pillz: This is what happens when you are unable to fpocus your mind and concentrate on your power.
Primus wondered why the hell his power didn't work. He closed his eyes and tried to think. That alien voice returned.
"Who does the cutting? The blade or the person holding the sword? Either way, you are a stupid person. Orajel tastes nasty! Ha. You're in a prison! Don't drop the soap!"
Primus knew the source of the alien voice was causing his powers to malfunction. He concentrated on the voice, trying to get it out.
JeNewBee was staring at Primus. As soon as he made a psychic link, he could figure out the nature of Primus' power. To keep Primus from triggering his defensive powers, JeNewBee kept transmitting bad thoughts.
Then, he felt a new sensation. The person was fighting back. It was as if he was pushing JeNewBee's thoughts back into his own head. JeNewBee concentrated harder.
Primus remained focused on getting rid of the alien voice, but he glanced around to see if he could find the person they were coming from.
He saw him.
Primus saw a man in a ridiculous get-up staring right back at him. Primus called out.
Primus: Radioactive Dude! Get the man over there in that stupid costume!
Radioactive Dude looked up. Primus was being held captive by Pillz, but the boy wanted him to attack the strange looking fellow with silver face paint. The Dude thought the sight of this man just standing there was queer, but he realized the stranger was staring right at Primus.
The Dude finished tying up PeroHulk and headed for the strange man.
JeNewBee heard his bird, Justin, squawk.
JeNewBee: What's that boy? The cowboy is headed right towards us and left Pero alone and you want to go untie him! Go get him!
JeNewBee let the bird out of the cage.
JeNewBee hoped the effect on Primus would last. He broke of the connection with him. And started to do his dance.
Radioactive Dude saw the strange fellow release a bird, turn towards him, and began to dance. The Dude would have chuckled at such a sight, but he knew in his gut that it was trouble. The dude reached for his old iron six-shooter. He hated to have to use it, it was always meant as a last resort, but there might not be any other way to deal with the strange fellow.
The Dude held up the gun.
Radioactive Dude: I'm for a little dancing as much as the next fellow, but I'm going to have to ask you to stop.
JeNewBee stopped his dancing. It was all up to his bird now.
Evil Gnome continued to hammer his fists against Raptor Pat.
Raptor Pat: I give up! Stop!.
Evil Gnome: I'm usually not this violent, but you managed to tick me off. Then again, it could be the alcohol.
Raptor Pat: Please stop! I'll make it worth your while.
Evil Gnome stopped hitting him.
Evil Gnome: Really? You know, you are quite cute. I think we could arrange something.
Raptor Pat: No! That's not what I meant! I'd rather you keep hitting me.
Evil Gnome: I think I'll let my gnomes take care of you.
As Gnome watched his lawn ornament minions gather around his victim, he noticed a strange shadow covering over them.
PeroHulk: Time to say hi to your old boyfriend Sparks.
Evil Gnome: You! Attack him!
The gnomes left Pat and leapt onto PeroHulk.
PeroHulk: I can get this. Go help that fire chick.
Raptor Pat ran towards Burnsy.
Burnsy was shooting fire from both hands. They weren't as powerful as her normal fireballs, but they were enough to keep Llama and the Mrs. from overpowering her.
By this time, the Mrs. had turned into a lion.
Dealy Llama: We can keep this up all night! Pretty soon, you are going to run out of heat. And then I ain't going to need the Mrs. to turn into you, we'll just have you to play with.
Burnsy: I'll set myself on fire before I let a midget clown and his freak wife have their way with me.
Dealy Llama: Don't knock it till you...
He couldn't finish his sentence, he was knocked back by a quick blur.
Llama was thrown all the way back into a wall. He collected himself and saw Raptor Pat in front of him.
Raptor Pat: You know, I hate clowns. In my hometown, we have this clown that calls himself Mr. Smiles. He likes to give kids candy that has Ritalin inside of them, so the kids will do better in school. He tried to give me some, but I never trusted clowns, so I arrested him for misconduct with minors.
Dealy Llama: You should have taken the stuff, you fucking dumbass.
Llama noticed the Mrs. was headed for them. He also saw the the fire bitch was aiming a fireball right for her. He honked his nose and transformed her into a hummingbird.
The Mrs. took off at a fast pace and managed to get away.
Raptor Pat knew what was happening.
Raptor Pat: She wasn't aiming for her.
Pat sped off. Llama noticed the fireball heading in his direction. The fireball stopped right before it reached him, and dropped to the ground. The fire began to spread around him, trapping him. He honked his nose and and the Mrs. flew in, this time in the form of a gryphon. The Mrs. picked up Llama with her talons.
Dealy Llama: We're getting the fuck out of here. Fuck the two of you!
They flew off.
Primus could feel his power coming back. He looked at the green energy bars around him. They were all around him, except under him.
Primus could feel a new strength flowing through him. He punched the ground from out under him
Pillz saw this and new Primus' powers had returned. He undid the prison and began to shoot blasts of energy and Primus.
Primus knew he had to escape. His powers changed, and he began to fly.
Primus: This isn't over!
Pillz aimed for him, but for some reason held back. He watched as Primus looked towards Llama and the Mrs, then, much to Pillz' surprise, flew off in another direction.
Raptor Pat came speeding over.
Raptor Pat: Doesn't that ring let you fly? Go after him!
Pillz: I can't.
Raptor Pat: Why not.
Pillz looked angry. He screamed out.
Pillz: Because I'm afraid of heights!
They heard screaming. It was coming from Gnome.
PeroHulk busted a fifth gnome.
PeroHulk: We never had lawn gnomes at my house. We did have this lawn jockey once. I named him Howard. Growing up, I never had many friends. So, Howard became my best friend. I would take him everywhere. We went fishing together, camping together, but never horseback riding. I used to like horseback riding. But one time, when I was trying to get up in the horse, he stepped on my foot. But that was before I met Howard. My parents bought him to remind me of what I would never become since I gave up horse riding. Howard never brought that subject up, because he respected me. I think my parents resented him for that. They gave him back to the orphanage.
Evil Gnome: What the hell are you talking about? Quit smashing my gnomes!
Gnome then found himself trapped in a green energy cell.
Pillz: Game's up Gnome.
Radioactive Dude came walking over with his hands up.
Radioactive Dude: I reckon it's time to throw in the towel. I didn't want to, mind you, but that nice lady with the fireball helped convince me.
Pillz: The two of you will be escorted by the police to your jail cells. Then you'll be tried for the murder of that hostage.
Radioactive Dude: So be it, son. Let me tell you this though, we had no hand in the cause of the explosion. Our plan was to make fool of the guy, not to kill him.
The police placed the Dude and Gnome under arrest.
Police Chief: So, 3 of them escaped, correct?
Pillz: Yes, Primus, Dealy Llama, and his Mrs.
Police Chief: Well, thank you for responding. We were able to save the rest of the hostages.
Pillz: That's good.
Pillz looked over at the front of the mall, where the man was killed. He then looked over at the Holiday Inn, and saw a figure moving on the roof. The figure soon moved away from Pillz' vision, but Pillz' instinct told him nothing good was associated with whomever that was.
Raptor Pat: Well, we got two of them. Looks like the hard part is done.
Pillz shook his head and stared off at the Holiday Inn.
Pillz: I'm afraid it might just be beginning.
To Be Continued.
