Through odd circumstance, three mighty heroes have teamed up to form the great group known as The Power Pack. Pillz, Primus, and Pero fight for all that is good in the world. Unfortunately, there are evil forces that would like to stop them from doing so! Get ready, true believers, as your heroes face their toughest battle yet
Primus: This is unbelievable. It's horrible.
Pillz: I never thought I would ever come face to face with something as terrible as this.
Primus: I don't think I can survive this.
Pillz: Just be strong. We've been through some pretty tough battles and we can get through this.
Pero: We need to pick up some more laundry soap the next time we go to the market.
The three heroes were sitting in the TV room of their hangout watching the Screech Porno Movie.
Pillz: That's it. I've had enough of this. I'm turning it off.
Primus: I'm going to have nightmares for a week.
Pillz: Well, I think it's time for a good training session to take our minds off that video.
Primus: I hate training!
Pillz: I'm sure the feeling is mutual. You know we have to train to hone our skills.
Primus: I don't see why. I mean, it's not like there is a lot of super villains out there. Besides, we already kick ass.
Pillz: You never know what's out there. We have to prepare ourselves for anything.
Pero: When Mortal Kombat 2 came out, that had two separate ads. One said, "Nothing can prepare you", while the other one said, "Prepare yourself". The two ads contradicted themselves, but it was still an awesome game.
Pillz: See, Pero agrees with me.
Primus: How do you figure that.
Pillz: Because Pero and I already talked about it. He wants to have more control when he hulks out.
Primus: That's nice. But I hate having to go to the basketball court in the park to train. We need to have a Danger Room or something like that.
Pillz: And how do you suggest we fund for something like that? It's not like I'm a millionaire playboy.
Primus: We can be heroes for hire.
Pillz: Listen here, Luke Cage. We are not doing this to make money. We ignore wealth and fame. The action and the fact that we are doing what is right is our reward.
Primus: That's stupid. We at least could get sponsored by somebody. Or become sponsors ourselves. We could endorse Pepsi or Papa John's Pizza. Or something.
Pillz: Whore ourselves out, you mean? What a good idea. Let's start putting ads on our costumes.
Primus: Now we're talking.
Pillz: No. We'll get by.
Primus: We could always sell your comic book collection.
Pillz aimed his ring at Primus and projected a green lion out of it. The lion leapt toward Primus. The lion almost attacked him, but seemed to run into an invisible wall.
Pillz made the lion disappear.
Pillz: How in the hell did you do that?
Primus: I don't know.
Pillz: Your powers seem to change every week. Wolverine claws, then Bullseye-like aim, then this Unus the Untouchable crap. Why don't you generate some good DC powers?
Primus: I don't know what I am capable of.
Pillz: That's what I am talking about. That's why we need to train. We need to know the full extent of our powers. And even more important, the full extent of our weaknesses.
Pero: I'm allergic to peanuts.
Pillz: I'll put that on the list. Right now. Let's go train.
Primus: I still think we need to talk more about finding a sponsor. There must be some organization looking to hire people with superpowers.
Elsewhere in the country.
We find a building. On the outside, it looks like a beaten down factory. On the inside, that is hardly the case.
Inside is the most state of the art equipment you would ever see. Super computers of every sort, prototype suits and weapons, you name it, they have it.
The building went down ten stories below the ground. On the very last floor, was a conference room.
This building is the main headquarters of The Agency. A group that is determined to run the world their way.
In the conference room are six men. One of the men is standing in front of the room, addressing the four men standing at the table. The sixth man, is standing in the back of the room watching the meeting with slight interest.
The man in the front of the room is Theodore Lichton, head of The Agency's Super Human Affairs.
Lichton: As you gentlemen are well aware, there is a new threat on our radar. These three heroes known as the Power Pack are a serious potential thorn in our side. It is up to us, here right now, to start coming up with a solution to eradicating this threat.
One of the men spoke up. This was Agent Travis.
Agent Travis: We already have the answer here in this room. He's standing back there.
Travis pointed to the gentleman who was standing in the back of the room. The gentleman stood motionless, with his hands behind his back. The man was dressed like a character out of a Shakespeare story. His face was tilted upwards while his eyes looked down on the men sitting at the table.
The gentleman was simply the best assassin The Agency had ever seen. The only problems The Agency had with him, were his steep prices and his air of superiority. But those were worth putting up with, because he was efficient at getting the job done.
He is the Jaded Poet.
Jaded Poet bowed to the man who spoke at him and when he raised his head, a sly smile was on his face. Jaded Poet was a man who hardly spoke, but when he did, his words were always met with different reactions. Jaded Poet stepped forward towards the table, and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
Jaded Poet: And so, the seemingly invincible warrior has been charged with a task. The warrior is never one to contemplate the motives of those who would send him out to his commission, but he is not afraid of acknowledging certain specifications which may have been unobserved. For a true warrior to emerge from the battlefield victorious, he must be aware of all things that will greet him on said battlefield. For the blind have never won a war. Those with discernment of those which shall call him enemy are those who stand victorious when the cloud of engagement has cleared.
Jaded Poet stepped back to where he was originally and put his arms behind his back.
Agent Travis turned to Lichton.
Agent Travis: What the fuck did he just say?
Lichton: What he said was he'll not go fight the Power Pack until he knows what they are capable of.
Agent Travis: That's good thinking. But we already know what one of them is capable of. I believe you were behind that failed mission to bring him in.
Lichton: You are talking about Pero?
Agent Travis: Yes. Pero killed many good Agency men when we tried to get our hands on the formula that created him.
Lichton: You're right. We underestimated him. This is the main point I want to present to you here. I want to set up a "task force" so to speak, to engage the Power Pack. By watching them fight, we'll be able to find out their weaknesses and we shall exploit them.
Agent Travis: Who do you have in mind?
Lichton: We will not use are usual people in this matter. We need outsiders. Those we can deem "expandable". I want you gentlemen to research the people listed in the files before you. I want the top three potentials in here for interviews in two days time.
Agent Travis: That's asking for a lot. We'll have to work extra hard!
Lichton: Then I suggest you get started.
The four men at the table left the room.
Lichton went over to Jaded Poet.
Lichton: You and I will personally observe our three guys fighting the Power Pack.
Jaded Poet: I'll be sure to bring my opera glasses.
Lichton: This needs to be done just right. The Power Pack is probably out there honing their powers as we speak.
Now we go back to the Power Pack, who is training on the basketball court.
Primus: Stop it! It's not going to happen!
Pillz: We need to figure out why. You were able to block my attack with the ring, but you are unable to block all of the basketballs I have thrown at you.
Primus: Maybe if you would stop aiming for my head and my groin, we might get somewhere.
Pero: My brother threw a basketball at my groin once. It hurt like hell. We were always playing sports together. His favorite sport was football. My favorite team is the Bengals. I like the fact that there is a football team full of transvestites. My Uncle Max was one. He would wear a bra and a blonde wig and make us call him Aunt Maxine. He was never invited over for Thanksgiving dinner. My favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner is pumpkin pie. I like to put whip cream on it. It tasted good. One time, my brother was sleeping, so I put shaving cream into his hand and tickled his face. He smeared the shaving cream all over his face. He got me back by throwing a basketball at my groin.
Pillz: You would make millions writing an autobiography.
Primus: Speaking of which, we still need to talk about getting some sort of income.
Pillz: I told you we will finish that conversation after we are done training today. Now, brace yourself.
Pillz picked up a basketball and threw it Primus.
Instead of taking the hit, Primus struck at the ball with his fist. When his fist struck the ball, it propelled away with the force of a shooting gun. The ball shot towards a building and broke a window.
Pillz: Well, that was something.
Primus: It was crazy. We'd better get out of here.
The group went back to Pillz' apartment.
Pillz: As far as I can tell, your powers have mainly been defensive in nature.
Primus: Yeah, well they sure didn't come to my defense when we went up against that Reverend.
Pillz: I know. We need to find a scientist. Someone who will take a look at you and do some tests.
Primus: Whoa! I am not going to get poked and prodded around like some guinea pig.
Pillz: Why not? It never stopped you before.
Primus: What's that supposed to mean?
Pillz: It means that I hear you are into some pretty freaky stuff.
Primus: No you didn't. You are making that up.
Pillz: Oh no I'm not. Hey Pero, didn't we listen in on a phone conversation with Primus and that girl? Wasn't there a ball gag and anal beads mentioned somewhere in there?
Pero: Yeah. And he mentioned some guy named Dirty Sanchez.
Primus: You've been listening in on my calls?
Pillz: Not only that, but I tape recorded them too. Thought they might come in handy some day.
Primus: Give me those tapes!
Pillz: I will, as soon as you go see a scientist to get tested.
Primus: But I don't want to!
Pillz: Fine. I'll just be mailing a copy of a tape to your mother.
Primus: Fine! I'll go see a scientist!.
The next day, Pillz took Primus to Professor Pryce, who was a reputable scientist in the field of mutation. After several hours of painful physical tests, the doctor was ready to declare his findings.
Prof. Pryce: I can find absolutely nothing extraordinary about Primus' physiology.
Primus: What?
Prof. Pryce: All of the test came back with no evidence for any type of super-human powers. As far as I can tell, you are a normal male human being.
Primus: But that's impossible. I was able to do things! I had powers!
Pillz: Could it be that his powers are mystical in nature?
Prof. Pryce: That could be an explanation. And with what you said about his resurrection, it would be a strong possibility. I want him to come back tomorrow. I'll bring out some of the more non-traditional equipment. We'll get to the bottom of this.
Primus: Aww, more test, you are killing me here, Doc.
Prof. Pryce: I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be. Go home, get some rest, and I'll see you here first thing tomorrow afternoon.
Pillz and Primus returned home.
Primus: I think that scientist of yours is a Grade-A Quack.
Pillz: Prof. Pryce is a brilliant man. If he can't find out what's going on with you, no one can.
Pero: What about the goat man?
Pillz: Who?
Pero: The goat man. The guy who made Primus what he is today.
Pillz: Satyr.
Primus: Yeah! Why don't we ask him? He's got to have some clue.
Pillz: I doubt it. The last time we saw him, he didn't even remember you. Anyway, I doubt if he knows or even cares how your powers work.
Primus: It still wouldn't hurt to ask him.
Pillz: If Prof. Pryce can't figure out what's up, then we'll ask Satyr. Right now, let's get to sleep.
The next day, Pillz and Primus went back to see the professor. Prof. Pryce still could not figure out what was going on with Primus.
That same day, at The Agency headquarters, Lichton, Jaded Poet, and the four agents were ready to interview the three potential clients for the Power Pack Task Force.
Lichton: So, these three were the best ones you could weed out?
Agent Travis: Yes. And we have our backups picked out as you requested.
Lichton: Good, bring the first one in, Radioactive Dude.
Radioactive Dude stepped into the room. He was dressed as a cowboy.
Lichton: Please, have a seat.
Radioactive Dude pulled a chair away from the table and sat down in it. He sat with his legs stretched out in front of him, one crossed over the other. He hung his head down so his cowboy hat would cover his eyes. He crossed his arms in front of him and chewed on the cattail weed that was sticking out of his mouth.
Lichton: Please, give us a broad description of your talents.
Radioactive Dude: Well son, it's like this here. I done got bitten by a radioactive cowboy on one of my trips out west. I can shoot lassos out of my wrists, I can stay on bull longer than 8 seconds, I'm the fastest draw on any side of the Mississippi, I car ride any horse, and I have what I call a "cowboy sense" that let's me know when danger's afoot.
Lichton: I see. And what makes you think you can go up against the Power Pack?
Radioactive Dude: Well, it's like this. I done seen the one called Pero in action. There hasn't been a beast born that I couldn't rope and brand, and this Pero would prove no different. And as for them other folk, well some fancy city ring and a case of teenage angst ain't going to stop the likes of me. I'd like nothing more than the opportunity to round up these varmin.
Lichton: Thank you. You may go back out in lobby.
The Dude left. Lichton took a look at the sheet containing the basic information for the next man.
Lichton: Well, he seemed ok enough. Send the next one in.
The next man came in. When he entered the room, the mood of them men changed. Except Jaded Poet, who took one look at the man and shook his head with a smirk on his face.
Agent Travis: Oh my god!
Lichton: Please, sit down. Mr. Evil Gnome.
Evil Gnome: Thank you sir. You may call me Evil Gnome or simply Gnome, I don't mind either way.
Lichton: Ok. Gnome, please tell us about your powers.
Evil Gnome: Oh, how to start? Let's see...this is funny, you know those lawn gnomes.
Lichton: Yes.
Evil Gnome: I can control them. Only when I get drunk though. Sometimes, I have a whole army of them things following me.
Lichton gave Travis and menacing glare.
Lichton: Is this power real or is it all in your head.
Evil Gnome: Oh, it's quite real. Watch, I'll demonstrate.
Agent Travis: I thought you said you needed to get drunk first.
Evil Gnome: I'm almost there.
Evil Gnome reached into a duffel bag he brought with him and pulled out a bottle of liquor. Then he pulled out a lawn gnome.
Evil Gnome threw his head back and guzzled down the liquor.
Evil Gnome: Now, watch this!
The lawn gnome began to move. It began to dance around the table.
Lichton: That's amazing.
Evil Gnome: I can make them do whatever I want. Gnome is where the heart is.
Lichton: And do you think they'll be effective against the Power Pack?
Evil Gnome's face became real serious.
Evil Gnome: Let me tell you about the Power Pack. That Pero bastard killed the only man I ever loved. My lover Sparks! I want nothing more than to get my revenge.
Lichton: Good. Nothing like revenge to be a proper motivator.
Evil Gnome: To quote a great man, "Revenge is a dish best served cold".
Lichton: Thank you. You may step out.
Evil Gnome: Thank you sir.
Evil Gnome left the room.
Agent Travis: I saw the photos, but he is even freakier looking in real life.
Lichton: He was one of the best three?
Agent Travis: Well, there was not that many to work with.
Lichton: You'd better hope this last one isn't a disappointment.
The four men looked at each other uncomfortably.
Lichton: Bring him in.
The next person came in and he wasn't alone.
A man dressed as a clown, came into the room being followed by a female midget.
Lichton: Oh shit! I saw a video of you guys on the internet.
Dealy Llama: That was good stuff, wasn't it?
Lichton: No. It was disgusting. I don't even want to know what your powers are.
Dealy Llama: That's crazy talk! Get a load of this shit!
Dealy Llama squeezed the red ball on his nose. The midget lifted up in the air and turned into a small dragon. Dealy Llama threw a Frisbee in the air and the dragon breathed fire at it, burning it to a crisp.
Lichton: Holy shit!
Dealy Llama: That's right! The Mrs. here can turn into whatever I'm thinking of when I honk my nose.
Dealy Llama then honked his nose again and the dragon turned back into a midget.
Lichton: That's was amazing. You'll have no trouble going up against the Power Pack.
Dealy Llama: You're goddamn right. I'll take those mothafuckers down like they was a pageboy in Congress.
Lichton: That's the spirit. Now, go join the other two and get ready to attack.
Dealy Llama: You're the boss.
Dealy Llama left the room.
Lichton: Now, there is no doubt that they are the oddest individuals I have ever seen, but they will prove to be quite a challenge for the Power Pack. The Power Pack will have to use their full force to contend with them.
Agent Travis: What if they are successful against the Power Pack.
Lichton: That would be even better. Then we would have new people to exploit for our purposes. What do you think, Jaded Poet?
Jaded Poet: Three unique souls have presented themselves for our approval, and I must say, approval they did receive. For when these soldiers march onto the arena of combat, they will be met with the most paramount of foes, but they shall clash until their final breath, dying as they have lived.
Lichton: Well said.
Ten floors above them, the individuals who have just been assigned to fight the Power Pack meet with each other outside of the building.
Dealy Llama: Those guys certainly were impressed with us, don't you agree Mrs.?
The midget nodded.
Evil Gnome: That may be, but I don't quite trust them, I'm sorry to say.
Radioactive Dude: You're right not to trust them. Especially since they are sending us to our death.
Evil Gnome: What do you mean, may I ask?
Radioactive Man: Ask you may. Y'all would do well not to trust these folks. The moment I stepped foot into this here building, I knew something wasn't right. I didn't even need my Cowboy Sense to tell me that.
Evil Gnome: What do you think they are up to?
Radioactive Dude: I reckon they are fixing to set us up against them boys to see how well they fight.
Dealy Llama: That's fucking whack, man. Why would they do that?
Radioactive Dude: The simple fact that this here Agency has plenty of boys that are good at killing. Why hire us? They don't want to send their good boys in until they know what they are up against.
Dealy Llama: Well, I got bad news for them, we are going to kick the Power Pack's ass.
Radioactive Dude: No, we ain't.
Evil Gnome: What do you mean? Do you not have confidence in our abilities?
Radioactive Dude: Oh, I'm plenty confident in our abilities. The Power Pack's too. I have had a first hand seat at the destruction of Pero. There is no way we are going to defeat them on the first try. We, like our employers here, need to know what we are up against.
Evil Gnome: It sounds like you have a plan.
Radioactive Dude: Oh yes, now, I'm going to saddle up and head to my ranch. I want you boys to meet me there.
Radioactive Dude got on his horse.
Evil Gnome: Is it too much to ask for a ride? I have been drinking after all.
Radioactive Dude: Not at all, get on up here.
The Dude turned to Dealy Llama and the midget.
Radioactive Dude: If y'all need a ride, I'm sorry, but ol' Betsy here can't hold any more.
Dealy Llama: Not a problem. I already got a ride.
Dealy Llama honked his nose and the midget turned into a full grown llama.
Radioactive Dude: Well, your Mrs. there sure is a good woman to have around.
Dealy Llama: You don't know the half of it. I got these videos if you want to see them?
Radioactive Dude: I think I'll pass.
On the way to the ranch, Evil Gnome and Radioactive Dude engaged into conversation.
Evil Gnome: You have a good point about The Agency sending us to their demise, but I'm reminded of something George Carlin once said.
Radioactive Dude: What's that?
Evil Gnome: "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
Radioactive Dude: That's a mighty good quote.
Evil Gnome: What if they actually believe we are capable of getting the job done?
Radioactive Dude: I must say, I admire your faith in other people.
Evil Gnome: I guess I'm not as cynical as most.
Radioactive Dude: That's a good thing, it's a hard thing to find now a days. If you are right, then we have two paths ahead of us. We succeed or we fail. If we succeed, The Agency keeps us on their payroll. If we lose, well, we lose.
Evil Gnome: True. I hate to admit, but I think you are right though.
Radioactiveve Dude: Well, we'll just have to see what the future brings.
The next day.
Pillz: I fucking hate Satyr. Why did he answer the phone just to tell us he doesn't like to talk on the phone and then hangs up?
Primus: Well, he's a bit odd.
Pillz: Oh no, he's the model of normalcy.
Pero: I had a model of a Tyrannosaurus once.
Pillz: That's nice.
The trio were on their way to Satyr's apartment.
Primus: I hate the fact that we have to walk. Why did you take the Power Porche to the body shop?
Pillz: It's being detailed. Besides, the walk will do you good.
Pero: I didn't know the parade was today.
Primus: What parade?
Pero: That one up there.
Pero pinted towards the horizon. Pillz could barely make out what was there, but he didn't like what he was seeing.
Pillz: I don't like the looks of this. Get ready.
Primus: What is it? What's going on.
Pillz: As far as I can tell, there are two guys on horses up ahead.
Pero: Three guys. One of them is a clown.
Primus: How in the hell can you see that?
Pero: I have my new contacts in.
Pillz: Just get ready.
The riders on the horizon approached. Soon enough, Pillz was able to make out the desrciption of the riders.
Pillz: This is trouble guys.
Radioactive Dude, Evil Gnome, and Dealy Llama stopped twenty feet in front of the Power Pack. The Dude and Gnome dismounted, as did Llama, who honked his nose and had the Mrs. change back to her original form.
Pillz: Well, Radioactve Dude, it sure is good to see you again.
The Dude tipped his hat.
Radioactvie Dude: Likewise.
Pero: Hey, you're the guy who gave me those video games.
Radioactive Dude: That's right.
Primus: Wait a second, you two know him?
Pillz: Yes, he and I met a couple of years ago. Although he wasn't a cowboy then.
Radioactive Dude: I've been though some changes, you might say.
Pillz: And what brings you here?
Radioactive Dude: Seems there's an agency out there that want you fellas dead.
Pero tensed up at the mention of "agency".
Pillz: So, you are working for the bad guys. I thought you'd be on the side of good.
Radioactive Dude: Well, there's nothing wrong with a man doing good work like that. There's a lot of honor in it, but not much pay.
Primus: Ain't that the truth.
Pillz: Quiet. So, Dude, how is this going to go down.
Radioactve Dude: Well, I figure there's three of you and three of us. Those two over there count as one. I say we do this duet style. It's unfortuneate this is not noon, that's when the best time for a duel is.
Pillz: That's quite alright. Because when it come to the Power Pack, ass kicking is a 24 hour buisness.
Primus: Oh my...
Evil Gnome: Excuse the interruption, but I want to make it clear that Pero is mine.
Pero: Bring it on, freak.
Pillz and Primus glanced over at Pero.
Pero turned to look at them.
Pero: Have you guys seen that movie? This is just like that. Except we are super heroes and not cheerleaders.
Pillz: Yes. It's just like that. Primus, you take on the clown and the midget, I'll take on the cowboy.
Primus: Why do I have to fight two people?
Pillz: It's always interesting to see equals fight.
Primus: What? I'm not equal to a clown and a midget!
Pillz: Shut-up and fight!
Evil Gnome walked up to Pero.
Evil Gnome: You killed my man, you bastard.
Pero: And you want to join him?
Evil Gnome: No, I just want some retribution.
Evil Gnome drank the last of his tequilla.
Evil Gnome: Gnomes, attack!
15 lawn gnomes emerged out of a huge bag that Evil Gnome had carried with him. They descended on Pero, hitting him with their woodden fists.
Primus had walked over to Dealy Llama and the Mrs. very slowly.
Primus: Listen clown, I don't even know what my powers are, so let's just arm wrestle or something.
Dealy Llama: You don't know what your powers are? Sucks to be you loser. As far as arm wrestling goes, well, you are just shit out of luck.
Primus: Fine, let's get this over.
Dealy Llama: What shall it be dear? The machette? Neh, too bloody. Nun chucks? No, I can't use those things. Wild animal? Sexy as hell, but not for him. I know! The Whoopie Cushion!
Dealy Llama honked his nose and the Mrs. turned itno a giant Whoopie Cushion.
Dealy Llama jumped on it, causing a massive amount of air to blow out, sending Primus high into the sky.
Pillz and Radioactive Dude stood ten paces away from each other.
Pillz: I hate to see you like this.
Radioactvie Dude: What, a few minutes away from victory?
Pillz: No. Corrupt. Sold out. Willing to sell yourself out to do other's dirty work.
Radioactive Dude: Well, if the money's right then so is the fight.
Radioactive Dude sent out his lasso from his wrist. The lasso wrapped around Pillz.
Pillz: Were not going to act out Brokeback Mountain now, are we?
Pillz activated his ring and created a giant pair of scissors. It cut the rope.
Radioactive Dude: Well, that fancy ring of yors sures comes in handy.
Pillz: That's right. It slices, it dices, and it even changes the channel.
Radioactive Dude: So, you can change it from the Lifetime Network to WE without even lifting a finger?
Pillz: Nice. A gay joke for a gay joke.
Radioactive Dude: You see, there is justice in the world.
Pillz: Yes there is, and you're about to meet it.
Pillz aimed his ring at the Dude and created a giant bull. The bull charged towards the Dude, but he jumped out of the way in time.
Radioactive Dude: Not much smarts in sending a bull after a cowboy.
Pillz: You're right, how about this.
The green light from Pillz' ring that was in the shape of a bull, now changed into the shape of an Indian. The Indian was carrying a hatchet, It ran toward the Dude, who shot a lasso out of his wrist and got it around a light pole. The Dude climbed to safty.
The gnomes had unleashed a barrage upon Pero. Until Pero began his change. Pero hulked out and ripped the gnomes off of him and smashed them.
PeroHulk: Creepy man's elves hurt Pero. Pero hurt creepy man!
Evil Gnome: I'm sorry for that. As a wise man once said, "Those who fight and run away, live to fight another day".
Evil Gnome turned around and got on Radioactive Dude's Horse. They took off.
Dealy Llama changed the Mrs. back into her midget form.
Dealy Llama: It looks like that emo freak doesn't need to buy a stairway to heaven. He's already well on his way.
Primus was 500 feet up in the air when he found out he could fly.
Primus didn't know how it was possible, but he didn't care at the moment. The fact that he was actually flying made him happy, he flew back down towards Dealy Llama and the Mrs.
Primus: Nice try. Got any other tricks up your sleave?
Dealy Llama: Yes I do.
Dealy Llama was about ready to honk his nose, when he heard Radioactive Dude give out a whislte.
Radioactive Dude: It's time for our retreat Llama!
Dealy Llama looked over and saw the Evil Gnome had picked up the Dude on his horse. Llama turned back to Primus.
Dealy Llama: We'll finish this later, fag.
Llama honked his nose and turned the Mrs. into a big hot air balloon.
Llama climbed in and and the Dude and Gnome on the horse jumped in. The balloon took off.
Primus: I'm going after them.
Pillz: No. Just stay here.
Primus: I can fly!
Pillz: I see that. Just let them retreat.
Primus: Fine.
Primus then fell to the ground.
Primus: Ow!!! What the hell?
Primus jumped up, attempting to fly again. He couldn't.
Primus: What happened? I was flying! This is so not fair!
Pillz: Speaking of which, let's go do what we set out to do and talk to Satyr.
Primus: I don't understand why you let them get away. We were winning.
Pillz: That was hardly a fight. I have the feeling they were holding back. Besides, I got the sense there was more going on here than what was displayed.
Primus: What do you mean?
Pillz: I don't know. Let's just deal with one thing at a time.
Besides several of the townfolk, there were two very specific spectators.
Lichton: Well, that was a huge dissapointment.
Jaded Poet: It seems our group of rouges have not even lived up to our lowest of expectations.
Lichton: We'll deal with them in time. We've got a general idea of what the Pack is capable of.
Jaded Poet: As scant as though that inforamtion is, it is adventageous.
Lichton: I'm glad you feel that way. Let's head back.
Up in the balloon.
Evil Gnome: I hate to add more gloom to this already dismal day, but The Agency will not be happy about what just happened.
Radioactvie Dude: I'm not much concerned with them.
Evil Gnome: May I ask why not?
Radioactive Dude: Well ,they are going to be madder than a branded bull, no doubt, but they are small potatoes compared to the three gents we just faced.
Dealy Llama: Speak for yourself Butch Cassidy, me and the Mrs. could take on all three ourselves.
Radioactvie Dude: The first man to fall is the one whose arrogance has weighed him down.
Dealy Llama: Whatever.
Radioactvie Dude: We'll train hard and one day, we'll defeat them. But I'm telling you all now, those three are the most powerful men on the planet right now.
The Power Pack arrived at Satyr's apartment building.
Pillz: You see why we need to train now?
Primus: Yes.
Pillz: Well, I just hope the trip here was worth it.
They got to Satyr's apartment and knocked on his door.
Satyr answered.
Satyr: What is the goddamn emergency?
Pillz: We just have a couple of questions that we hope you might ahve the answers too. We want to know what is up with Primus' powers.
Satyr: Who?
Primus: Me! Me you goat legged mother fucker!
Satyr: Oh yeah, the whiny bitch. Listen, you got resurrected by the Duce X Machine, so some of it's power must have transferred to you.
Pillz: That's a great explanation. His powers do seem to emerge to help him out with the given situation.
Primus: But how can I control it? How does it know what to do and when to do it?
Satyr: I don't know. You'll have to figure that out for yourselves. I ain't the answer man.
Pillz: I understand. Well, thanks for your help.
Satyr: Hey! While you guys are here, you want to check out this video of a clown with a midget on the internet?
The End.
