Brought together by fate, our heroes have teamed up to defend everyday, ordinary citizens from the evil of the world! Let me introduce you to our heroes! Pillz, is the owner of the incredible Power Ring, a powerful weapon that is only limited to Pillz' imagination and the color yellow! Pero, a mild mannered simpleton who, in periods of stress, can turn into the massive Pero Hulk. Then there is Primus.
We find our heroes at their headquarters, the local bowling alley.
Primus: Why do we have to use the bowling alley as our headquarters? It's too noisy in here and it stinks.
Pillz: It's also free. And they won't kick us out, not like jackasses at the skating rink.
Primus: That's ok. I don't like skating anyway. I always fall down.
Pero: I was never allowed to go skating. I'm not allowed to operate anything that has wheels.
Primus: I'm sure there is a good reason for that. Pillz, what are we doing just sitting here? We should be out there fighting crime!
Pillz: We are waiting for somebody.
Primus: Who?
Pillz: Mr. McGuffin.
Pero: No thanks, I don't like them.
Pillz: What?
Pero: I like the McGriddles better.
Pillz: Mr. McGuffin is not a McDonald's breakfast sandwich. He is a man, a very rich man. He may be our financial backer, then we can get a real headquarters.
Primus: When is he going to show up, I'm bored.
Pillz: He'll be here in about 30 minutes. Go bowl if you are that bored.
Primus: I don't want to bowl, I'm no good at it.
Pillz: Then go play some pool or some of the arcade games.
Primus: I'm not in the mood.
Pillz shook his head in frustration.
Primus: Since we are going to be waiting, I think we should have that talk.
Pillz: Fine, let's have it then.
Pero: I already had that talk with my mom. Something about birds, bees, and the mailman. I think my mom is a little crazy.
Primus: Not that talk. We are going to talk about what we are going to call ourselves.
Pero: Oh. My name is Pero.
Primus started to say something, but he saw Pillz shaking his head.
Pillz: Alright, what name did you come with?
Primus: The Power Pack.
Pillz: Don't you think there are enough "P"s between the three of us already?
Primus: That's just the thing. "Power Pack" fits just perfectly into the whole "all of our names begin with the letter P" motif, and it sounds cool.
Pillz: Alright. What do you think about "The Power Pack", Pero?
Pero: I've never heard them. Are they any good? What kind of music do they play?
Primus: No, we are the Power Pack.
Pero: We are? What instrument do I play?
Primus: We are not a band. It's what we are going to call our little super hero group here.
Pero: OH. That sounds neat.
Pillz: Fine, it's settled then, we are the Power Pack.
Primus let out a cheer.
Primus: Nothing like a good conversation to get the time passing. How much longer till he shows up now?
Pillz: 28 minutes.
Primus: God, this is taking forever! I'm going to go bowl.
Pero: I want to bowl too.
Primus and Pero got themselves a lane. Pillz obtained to sit the game out.
Primus led Pero over to the bowling ball racks.
Primus: The trick is finding the perfect ball that has the right size hole for your fingers and is just the right weight for you to properly bowl with.
Pero: I'm going to use this blue one here. Dad is always talking about how he gets the blue balls when he strikes out, so maybe the blue ball is lucky.
Primus gave Pero a curious look and saw Pillz motioning him over.
Primus: What is it? Is he here?
Pillz: No, he's not. Listen, remind Pero that it's just a game and that he doesn't need to get upset if he loses. I don't want any accidents.
Primus: I'm not sure he really cares, but I'll tell him.
Primus went over to Pero, who was staring at the overhead projector for the scorecard.
Primus: This game is just for fun, ok?
Pero: Dad always said it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
Primus: That's always good advice.
Pero: But dad always gets angry when his teams don't win. He yells at the TV. Then dad looks at me, shakes his head, and guzzles down his beer.
Primus: Well, let's just bowl and forget about all of that, ok. I'll go first.
Pero rolled his ball down the lane. It was a strike.
Pero stood there in amazement. He had never rolled a strike before.
Pillz decided to go to the bowling alley's bar to get himself a drink.
Bartender: Hey there Pillz, what'll you have?
Pillz: Just a Coke. I got a meeting in a little bit.
Bartender: Sure thing. Hey, let me ask you a question. How good is your super hero team there?
Pillz: Oh, they are the absolute best. Couldn't ask for a better team.
Bartender: I can never tell if you are being serious or not.
Pillz: One of them is an idiot who turns into an even bigger idiot with muscles. The other, well, I don't even know what I keep him around for.
Bartender: I bet they are good to distract your enemies.
Pillz: Yeah, but that's the thing. There's not exactly an abundance of super villains out there. Not that I wish there were, but petty thieves and jerk-offs aren't much of a challenge for me.
Bartender: I hear that. Uh-oh.
Pillz: What is it?
Bartender: Looks like your friends have got themselves the wrong people for a crowd.
Pillz looked towards the lane Primus and Pero were using. A group of six tough looking bowlers had gathered around to watch the two super-powered bowlers.
Pillz: Who are they?
Bartender: They are the Gutter Sluts.
Pillz: The Gutter Sluts?
Bartender: Yeah, they are hardcore bowlers.
Pillz: I'd better get down there.
Primus had managed to bowl 5 strikes in a roll. Pero had forfeited all of his turns, because he was to transfixed with the overhead projector.
Primus rolled another strike and went to the ball return.
Primus: You seeing all of this Pero? I'm on a roll. Those stupid knives must not have been my only power after all. I have the power to be a perfect bowler!
Pero just sat there and stared. Six men walked up to them.
The Leader: Hey there, you are rolling pretty good there. My name is Kenny Cranker and I'm the leader of the Gutter Sluts.
Primus: You guys are legends! Wow! Brock Elias! You rolled a 295 one time! You are the best.
Eddie: Thanks. Looks like you are on your way to rolling a 300 there.
Kenny: We heard you say something about having a ssuper power. Got the power to roll a perfect game?
Primus: I don't know. Maybe it's a fluke.
One of the bigger members of the Gutter Sluts stood next to Primus and sniffed him.
Big Gutter Slut: He's got the power. I can smell it on him.
Kenny: That can only mean one thing. Looks like we got a new member of the Gutter Sluts!
Primus: That's quite an honor guys, but I'm a member of the Power Pack.
Kenny: The Power Pack? No, no. Your power only belongs here, on the lanes.
Primus: I need to use this power to fight crime. That's the Power Pack code.
Kenny: Nobody turns down an offer to join the Gutter Sluts! You are either with us, or you are against us!
Pero looked away from the projector.
Pero: George Bush said that once. He's the president and my hero. I was going to be the president in the future, but I screwed that up. I was a president before though, for my fan club. It was a Mr. Belvedere fan club. The only members were me and my imaginary fried, Lucas. Lucas ran away from our house when I was 12. I only saw him again once after that. It was at an Ozzfest concert. Lucas was playing bass for some band. I thought I was in a band once, but it turned out to be a group of super heroes. I wonder if we could get George Bush to join. He's my hero.
The Gutter Sluts and Primus stared at Pero.
Kenny: Your friend is a freak. But he'll make a good witness when we make an example of you.
Pillz: Wait just a second.
Kenny and the Gutter Sluts turned around. Pillz was standing there, with his ring aimed at Kenny.
Pillz: I think you'd better just walk away before I make an example of you.
Kenny: You're little toy doesn't scare me. Gorodki, do your thing.
Another of the Gutter Sluts, this one was the tallest and the most muscular of them.
He's also a Russian.
Gorodki grabbed Pero by the neck and picked him of the ground.
Kenny: Gorodki is about to perform the Seven-Ten Split.
Gorodki kicked Pero right in the balls.
Pillz: Oh hell, you guys just made one very big mistake.
Pero began to grow. He turned into the Pero Hulk.
Pero Hulk: You hurt Pero, Pero smash!
Pero picked up his blue bowling ball and threw it at Gorodki. It took his head clean off.
Kenny: Ok, you guys win.
Pillz: What?
Kenny: We are just a bunch of bowlers, it's not like we are really capable of anything to take you guys on.
Pillz: Damn, I was really looking forward to a fight.
Kenny: Just to let bygones be bygones, I'd be willing to buy you all a beer, but the bartender took the day off.
Pillz: No he didn't. In fact I just....
Pillz started to feel light headed. He then recalled the conversation he had with the bartender, how did he know that Pillz had a super hero team. For that matter, how did he know Pillz' name. It was the first time they had ever met.
Pillz started to warn the others, but he passed out.
The "bartender" walked up to them.
Primus: Why, you are no bartender, you are Dr. Dohickey!
Dr. Dohickey: That's right! And I have put your leader out of commission. As I had him distracted, I slipped some sleeping pills into his drink. Some pills for Pillz, how deliciously ironic! Now I will take you all out with my Dohickey!
Primus: Damn you! Pero, get him!
Pero Hulk went after Dr. Dohickey, but Dohickey was ready for him.
Dr. Dohickey: Look Pero, I have your blue ball! If you hurt me, you also hurt the ball.
Pero Hulk stared at the ball. Rather than hurt it, Pero Hulk backed away, as he did this, he started turning back into regular Pero.
Dr. Dohickey: That's more like it. Now, to activate my Dohickey and take you all out.
Pero: Where did those men go?
Primus: They ran away. The cowards. Why are you doing this Dr. Dohickey?
Dr. Dohickey: Because it's fun. And I need the three of you out of my way. I heard all about you three from Crunchy, my former lackey. I called him Thingamagig before he started working for Capt. Taco. But enough of that, my victory awaits!
Dr. Dohickey went over to the overhead projector. He pressed some of the buttons on it.
Dr. Dohickey: I designed my dohickey to look like this projector. I made sure you guys got this lane by bribing the clerk on duty. I lured you all to this bowling alley by pretending to be Mr. McGuffin and telling Pillz to meet me here. Why isn't this damn thing working yet?
Dr. Dohickey looked at his machine. Nothing was happening.
Dr. Dohickey: It should have done it's thing by now! What's wrong with it?
Pero: I noticed it was acting funny when I looked at the scores card on the wall. It was twitching. While Primus was making all of those strikes, I pried open the controlled panel and had a look inside. I saw your Dohickey in there and destroyed it.
Dr. Dohickey: Hmm. Imagine that?
Dr. Dohickey took off running.
Primus: Don't worry, I got this.
Primus picked up his bowling ball and rolled it at Dr. Dohickey. It was a direct hit. It knocked him to the ground.
Dr. Dohickey tried to get up, but he found himself trapped in a giant green bubble.
Pillz: I have got a killer headache. You are going straight to jail.
Dr. Dohickey: You haven't heard the last of me!
Later, the cops took Dr. Dohickey away. Primus explained the whole situation to Pillz.
Pillz: How did you know who that freak was?
Primus: I saw his profile on Myspace.
Pillz: Figures.
Primus: What I don't understand, is why Pero kept staring at the projection even after he figured out what was wrong with it.
Pero: I don't know how those things work. It's like magic or something.
The End
