Gweg woke up with a scream.
He looked at his clock, he had only been asleep for a couple of hours. He thought back to the scene at the ASL headquarters. He had never seen that much of a bloodbath before. Sure, he had witnessed things getting killed and mutilated before, a satyr, a humanoid female reproductive system, an alien mime, the unborn fetus of Jesus, a bunch of six-foot chickens, but he has never seen that much human carnage.
The weight of what he witnessed was starting to bear down on him. He needed some answers.
He got out of bed and headed to the living room. Satyr was still on the couch watching TV.
Gweg: I want some answers!
Satyr: You still going on about that whole nonsense. Give it a rest already.
Gweg: No, I won't give it a rest. I can't believe that I did it, but I actually defended you against those people. And those people died because of you!
Satyr: What the fuck? They didn't die because of me. I didn't pull any triggers! I sure as hell didn't tell anyone to do it!
Gweg: I don't know. A lot of what they told me is starting to make sense. What are you hiding from me?
Satyr: Will you quit acting like you are my wife. It's really starting to creep me out.
Gweg felt his blood start to boil.
Gweg: Fine. For arguments sake, I'll go along with you not knowing about any of these people, but I want to know if they were telling the truth about your past.
Satyr: Yes, I'm linked to Mt. Olympus through magic. Didn't I already explain that to you after I killed my brother?
Gweg: You may have. But that's not what I'm interested in. I want to know about Pearl Harbor, JFK, all of that.
Satyr: Fine. I'll tell you. The Pearl Harbor thing is crap, but the JFK thing...
Satyr trailed off and looked at the floor.
Gweg: What about it?
Satyr: You have got to promise me what I'm about to say does not leave this room.
Gweg: So you did have something to do with the assassination!
Satyr: No I didn't! But I was there in Dallas when he was shot. In fact, I was at Dealey Plaza as well.
Gweg: Ok. I promise, just tell me what happened.
Satyr: First thing you need to know, it was the 60's and the world was starting to change....
FLASHBACK!
The place is Dallas, Texas. The date was November 22, 1963. The place is a restaurant located near Dealey Plaza.
Satyr was eating lunch with a fellow he met at a bar last night. The man's name was Eddie Samson.
Eddie: I thought it over. I'll do it. For 50 bucks.
Satyr: That's sounds reasonable. You got the costume?
Eddie: Yes. A construction worker, right?
Satyr: Yeah.
Eddie: Ok, when do you want to meet?
Satyr: Be there at a quarter past noon.
Eddie: Ok. But you should know, this is the first time I've ever done something like this.
Satyr: Don't worry, you'll do fine. This is a once in the life time opportunity and I don't want to pass it up.
Eddie: Well, I must say, it's a bit odd. I've been paid to do a lot of things, but never to dress up like a construction worker to...
Satyr interrupted him.
Satyr: Keep your voice down! Don't talk about it here.
Eddie: Sorry.
Satyr: Ok, I need to go out and get something, so I'll see you behind the fence.
Satyr got up and threw some money down on the table.
At 12:10, Satyr arrived at the rendezvous spot. He was dressed as a cop.
Five minutes later, Eddie arrived dressed as a construction worker.
Eddie: What's up with your costume?
Satyr: Don't question it. It's all part of the illusion.
Eddie: When do you want to start this?
Satyr: I've got a buddy out there with an umbrella. He'll signal us when it's time. In the meantime, we better get ready, let me get my gun out.
Eddie: Wow, it's big.
Satyr: I know. It always gets the job done. Get into position.
Eddie got where he needed to be.
Satyr: Any minute now. Ok, there's the signal.
At that moment, a shot rang out. Followed by two more.
Eddie: What's going on!
Satyr: Somebody shot Kennedy!.
Eddie: What? It can't be!
Satyr: I know! We need to get the hell out of here.
Satyr and Eddie took off running across the train yard that was located near the grassy knoll.
End of the
FLASHBACK!
Gweg: Ah ha! So, you were going to shoot Kennedy but Oswald beat you to it! Oliver Stone was half right, there was a shooter on the grassy knoll. It was you!
Satyr just shook his head.
Satyr:I wasn't there to shoot Kennedy! I was there to get a blow job!
Gweg: What?
Satyr: That's what I paid Eddie to do! He was going to give me head. I had always wanted to get sucked on by a construction worker during a presidential motorcade.
Gweg: Really?
Satyr: Yes. Why do you think I hate the movie JFK? I know the truth about the whole "grassy knoll" thing, but I can't tell anybody.
Gweg: You are fucking twisted.
Satyr: I know. It's not something I'm proud of, it's just the way I am.
Gweg: Fine. What about the other things?
Satyr: Mostly lies. I've never been to Oklahoma City and I was never around for some shuttle launch. I was in New York City on 9/11 though.
Gweg: Why?
Satyr: I was going to be in some Jackie Chan move, but he couldn't film there that day.
Gweg: Are you being serious?
Satyr: Yes. Listen, I want you to take me there.
Gweg: Where?
Satyr: To the ASL headquarters. I want to see this shit for myself.
Gweg: I'm not sure I really want to go back. It's a pretty bloody scene.
Satyr: Don't be a baby. Just take me there.
Gweg and Satyr got into the car and headed to the building where the massacre had occurred.
They arrived there and Gweg and Satyr went inside.
Satyr: You were right, this is a bloody mess.
Gweg: I can't believe the cops haven't shown up yet.
Satyr: Did you call them?
Gweg: No, but I figured somebody had to have heard all of that gunfire.
Satyr: Just to be safe, Gweg, lock the doors.
Gweg: Why?
Satyr: So we don't get any unexpected company.
Gweg locked the doors.
Satyr looked all around the table.
Satyr: So, these were all ASL and LOL members, eh?
Gweg: Yeah.
Satyr: And there was only one person besides you who survived?
Gweg: Yeah.
Satyr: Good.
Gweg: What do you mean good?
Satyr turned around and grinned at Gweg.
Satyr: Oh, the less people who know what has happened here the better. Don't you agree?
Gweg: I guess so.
Satyr: I wasn't talking to you.
Gweg was shocked to see Sinister Isles step out from the shadows.
Sinister Isles: I agree master.
Gweg: What the fuck is going on here?
Satyr rubbed his knuckles against his chest.
Satyr: I don't like to brag. Ok, that's a lie, I love to brag! What is happening here is a testament to my superior intellect.
Sinister: All hail the Satyr!
Satyr waved his hand in the direction of the bodies on the floor.
Satyr: You see what happens when you mess with me Gweg. Bad shit happens.
Gweg: You fucking monster!
Sinister: So, does he know everything?
Satyr: He knows enough. Too much in fact. Take care of him.
Sinister pulled out his gun.
Gweg: You'll never get away with this!
Satyr: You say that every time. But this time, you are dead wrong.
Satyr laughed at his own bad pun.
Sinister aimed the gun at Gweg's head and pulled the trigger.
No bullet came out. Instead, a stick with a flag on it saying "BANG!" came out of the barrel.
Satyr and Sinister burst out laughing.
Gweg's face had morphed from sheer terror into fiery hot rage.
Gweg: WHAT THE FUCK?
All of the bodies on the floor started getting to their feet.
Satyr: On 3. 1. 2. 3...
Everyone except Gweg: April Fools!
Gweg: April fools! APRIL FOOLS! It's June, you son of a bitch!
Satyr: Ha ha ha! You should have seen the look on your face!
Gweg: What the fuck is going on!
Satyr: Oh, sweet revenge. This is for all the times you have fucked over my plans! Oh, this was all worth it. Hiring all of these actors, telling you all of those half truths. It was perfect.
Gweg: All of this was a joke?
Satyr: Yes. Isn't it great! Where's that video camera?
One of the actors dressed as an ASL member brought Satyr a handheld digital video camera. It showed the events that happened earlier that night.
Satyr: Oh, look at him hiding under the table like a little bitch! Victory is mine!
Gweg: I really fucking hate you.
The End.
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